Sadder of Luck heirs^^

The double murder happened in the family home during Ma's birthday party on a beautiful June day. The suspects were their 3 teenage children - Tom 17, Cindy 18, and Frank 19. Ma and Pa were found dead in their upstairs room with bullet wounds. 

They had just announced that they had some new information that Tom was a voyeur. They were going to change their will. Now that is a perfect motive, if there ever was one. 

"Yes" said Cindy to the Inspector "it has to be Tom or perhaps Frank, who is on drugs. As for me, I was busy in the bathroom as I had a bout of vomiting after food and was showering" 

"I may be a peeping Tom, so to speak, but I am not a murderer. I was ... uh ... Ok ok watching Cindy bathing from the keyhole." Tom stuttered. "I can tell you exactly what she was doing when the shots were heard in Pa's room. Of course I was the first to enter their room but the murderer was gone."

"Yes inspector" added Frank "Tom is a good person in general. Very kind, smart and kinda good-looking too. Now Cindy is different. She is badly in debt and will do anything to get the loansharks off her back. As for my whereabouts, I was outside in the garden. Not even in the house! Cindy saw me come inside when she was on the top of the stairs. Tom was already in Pa's room, I think."

"Was there anyone else in the house at that time?" Asked the inspector.

"Not really" replied Cindy "the gardener had already left several hours earlier after pruning the tall branches of the oak trees outside. He locked the padlock on the gate on his way out. That is why when we called you, we had to unlock it to let you in" 

"So it has to be one of you three" mused the inspector, rubbing his chin. "Frank, i am arresting you for the murder" 

"But I was outside!" frank protested. 

"Exactly. Using the same ladder the gardener was using to shoot them from the open bedroom window."

The fingerprints on the ladder confirmed his guilt and Frank confessed.

Tom breathed a sigh of relief. "that was a brilliant piece of deduction, inspector"

"I knew it right away once he started to praise you in his statement. It has to be. You see, 

He Who Praise the Peeper, Culls the Two"
(he who pays the piper, calls the tune)
--------- One piece of hard evidence is better than 100 eye witnesses. 1 eye witness is better than 100 hearsay accounts.
Unfortunately, people will believe what they want to. Selecting snippets that support their view while ignoring the bulk of contrary evidence. Basing your beliefs on majority opinion, statements uttered by authority or what's written in books is not rational.
Title : Sadder of Luck heirs
          Ladder of Success

Cash a blank card^^

Rubber Bridge.
High stakes.
No Luck.
Opponents just made slam.
Pay up.
Made another game.
Got to Pay.
Oh no!
They just bid grandslam.
And made it!
Pay it again. Slam.

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Dedicated to my love-hate relationship with duplicate bridge. Love it for the challenge, strategy and thrill. Hate it for the stress and the time it sucks away from my other interests. I swear I don't want to play it any more .... but I don't want to play it any less either (groan). 

BTW, Bogie never said "play it again, Sam" in Casablanca (title of feghoot). but Woody Allen, one of my favorite comedians (my favorite is George Carlin) did make a movie of the that name.

Allen: What are you doing Saturday night?

Woman: Committing suicide.

Allen: What about Friday night?

Blue Moo^^

Mad cow disease was spreading fast and the dairy farmers in Austria had to act fast. They buried the dead cows and quarantined all the groaning sick ones.

The ills are Alive with the Sound of Moo Sick.

(The hills are alive with the sound of music)

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Dedicated to the researchers in their never ending fight against the microbes. Will there come a time when a deadly strain will be totally resistant to all our drugs?

Fool's Gold^^^

Conquistador Francisco Pizarro with superior weapons ruthlessly massacred the Incas and looted tons of gold.  The hoard was so great, he could not take it all back in his ships and hid most of it.

Father Samuel got an ancient map during a confession from an explorer who killed an antique dealer and stole it from him. The map led greedy Father Samuel deep into the Andes. At a remote village, he managed to buy a pony and made his final push to an obscure cave. He managed to cleared out some rubble from collapsed passages and there, lo and behold, was Pizarro's treasure!

He fully loaded his pony and started the trek back. Unknown to him, he was being stalked by bandits. Suddenly they made their move. He tried to escape on the pony but it collapsed as it was too overloaded.

Needless to say, he and 
a Full Andes Pony are soon Martyred.

(A fool and his money are soon parted)

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2 dedications this time.

To the destroyed civilizations on every continent throughout history. Aside from the devastating massacre and genocide, the victors also forced their religion, values and culture. So much  interesting, valuable and important knowledge has been wiped out.

Also dedicated to those of us who have lost their hard earned money by lending, investing, giving money or just getting outright cheated  by conmen.  Sweet talkers with get-rich schemes or sad stories are far more effective than the mugger in the street. 

Cat Call^^

The tomcat loved the maid. Unlike previous caretakers, this one was a rare find as she was genuinely fond of him. She always fed him on time, brushed his coat and scratched his cheeks.

Yup, he  became the Fan Tom of the Au Pair rare.

                          (The Phantom of the Opera)

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3 Dedications

To our maids -- they have to leave their husbands, children, family and friends and come to a strange foreign land so they can earn enough to give their loved ones a better life. (yes especially for you Lilik)

To the Musical -- Thank you Andrew Lloyd Webber, Tim Rice, Frederick Loewe, Richard Rodgers, Oscar Hammerstein II,  Schonberg and so many others for enriching our lives, A special mention to my Hongkong Diocesan Boys' School literature teacher Mr, Jacobsen for advising me to always see beyond the main characters and songs.


To my childhood Burmese cats : King and Dylan 

Spirited Away^^^

"I dare you to stay in that haunted mansion at midnight" Timmy challenged Sammy "Ten bucks says you can't"

"I... I'll do it" Sammy stammered

At midnight, a trembling Sammy slowly made his way into the courtyard and waited. It was here 20 years ago that an 8 year old child had fallen off her bicycle. She had hit her head on the concrete floor and died.

Thirty slow minutes ticked away. Suddenly, an apparition materialized. It was a ghostly image of a child cycling! Sammy took out the camera with his jittery hands and clicked. Oh no! He had forgotten to charge the battery! The flash barely came on. The ghost quickly vanished and Sammy ran out.

Sadly, the photo was severely underexposed and nothing could be seen. It seems that the Spirit is Wheeling but the Flash is Weak.

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Dedicated to the ultimate power that controls our behavior and actions. Our Spirit may be willing and our Flesh may be weak but our Brains have the final say.

Oh Sheet^^

The microwave oven is one of the greatest inventions for the kitchen. Nowadays it is integrated with a conventional oven and a fan to distribute the heat evenly.

It came in extra handy last night when my dryer broke down while I was doing my bedsheets.
Yup, dry in just 5 minutes when the Fan Heats the Sheet. 
                                         (when the shit hits the fan)

---------------------------

Dedicated to the Good Ol' Days. How many of us knew then that we were actually living through it? We worried about pimples, grades, scolding from parents, girlfriends/boyfriends and so many things that seem so trivial now.

 

Bee S(t)ing^^^

The Abbot made the decision. The vows of silence in the abbey had to be obeyed, No caroling will be allowed during Christmas ... period.


One monk, who was a beekeeper prior to joining the brotherhood, had an amazing idea. He knew that the "buzz" of each bee was of a different pitch caused by the beat rate of its wings. He wrote to the abbot, "If I could place groups of bees of the same pitch in tiny cages in a row, I may be able to get an octave of frequencies. By carefully agitating these cages in tempo, the bees will fly and their specific buzz will be picked up by microphones and a simple tune will be created."

The abbot gave his approval as animals were outside the scope of the vow of silence.

After weeks of hard work, the bees were ready. Opening night was a "resounding" success as a slow and simple version of "Silent Night" was buzzed out by the little stars!

Everybody agreed that nothing was
more fun than a Carol of Monk Bees.
 (more fun than a barrel of monkeys)

--------------------

Dedicated to my past and present regular bee-ridge partners -- Trevor Li, Ron Savage, Vera Emil, C C Chen, Karol Crouse, Yu Chun Yee, Shamim Moledina, Leonardo, Peter Arnette, Sean Ng. No need to go as far as vows of silence. Just a smile and an occasional kind word goes a long way to make the game so much more enjoyable.

Doggone It^^

Dingos, the wild dogs of Australia, usually hunt in packs, and can even corner and kill a kangaroo. However, if a dingo is on its own, chasing a big prey is futile. It must lie flat and slowly creep up on a rabbit and pounce. End result? Slump Dog Meal on Hare


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Dedicated to Frisky my late Maltese terrier - asked for little, gave so much.
(Yes you can sometimes make a good movie for just $15 million - Slumdog Millionaire)

Bird Droppings^^

Homing pigeons and doves were still in use during WW2 to carry secret messages from behind enemy lines. Of course this method was well-known and there were standing orders to shoot down any homing birds on sight. Some almost made it back across the front line falling into no man's land between the opposing front lines. Soldiers sometimes had to venture yonder into the danger zone to retrieve the messages from the gory bird carcasses that lie there.

In other words, 

Home Gored Doves Lie Yon

(Whom God Loves Die Young)

--------------------------

These famous words of consolation make no sense and insults those who live long good lives. 

For the military to function effectively, no independent thinking is allowed except perhaps at the highest echelon. The rest just follow orders or face a court martial. This feghoot is dedicated to John Lennon who died at 40.

Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace