tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-110871242024-03-07T14:05:17.837+08:00FeghootsOne Feghoot after another -- all originals. Feghoot punchlines take the form of similar sounding words (puns) or transposition of letters and sounds (Spoonerism). Each Feghoot is dedicated to specific people, places, events and issues that had affected me in my life. Each feghoot is rated by me from ^ (barely passable) to ^^^^ (very good punch line or good/meaningful story) to save you reading time ... so enjoy.Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-1109559002486468352013-03-10T10:49:00.000+08:002015-06-15T10:34:37.261+08:00Big Butt Problem^^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">The grandfathers of Rock, the Rolling Stones were performing. As usual, with the high prices, the majority of the people watching the show were middle aged and many of them were pretty obese. This posed some problems as the seats were of standard size at the theater. Several of them complained and shouted to Mick Jagger on stage who finally said he would send the manager and his staff to look for a place in the theater with wider seats so that those who were overweight would be comfortable.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Unfortunately, they were no wide seats in the theater and the manager told Mick the bad news. Sadly Mick went to the mike to make the sad announcement –</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>"<i>I've tried and I've tried but </i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>I can't get no fatties’ section</i>"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>(Can't get no satisfaction)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">----------</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to the Stones and the wonderful music of the 60s & 70s and the fatties (I'm getting there)</span><br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTemO3CSYCEPgHWdwivngbkiT0hAABNfL71y07IrSY5SVZ-CCFM" /><img src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS0fLDGIEIiQFuvFo7qCfT5HNjOs8DlVSduuiRaolF0vyLA6H2T" /><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-40985946470423597212012-05-04T02:58:00.000+08:002015-06-15T10:35:48.679+08:00Sheep Deed and Aye^^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Prof San Holo was busy at his lab. He was experimenting with splicing genetic material from rams into eggs of bees. With global warming, certain species of flowering plants flourish while others perish. The idea was to give bees the ability to digest leaves and grass to make honey and thereby reduce the need to be reliant on nectar and pollen from flowers.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The first Gene splicing was a disaster. The bee digestive system became dysfunctional.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The second attempt disrupted the honey production with lactose contaminant</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The bee grew tiny horns in the third!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">He then tried DNA from a sheep and Eureka! Yes indeed. It worked because he </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Made the Fourth Bee with Ewe.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">(<i>may the force be with you</i>)</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">----------------------------------------------</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEjutBXjD5E3Zclm4AiE10AiWCyzFncjhmhczTo22ZOSYAq33MyxGYVhAX6Rq8d15DBFkVlvSAfQY6U6ut_GYbhoTQHVOkYD3SwuAk_mkRC8V3kn9SZN7-WdZgfe945zc2uj9D-B51-wUUsdha4xyjQQqwGDrZKGZKrk9YRjMMbyoCUSQCijtyeXk_fwEZ12jdBOuqbS7whCm3haC7MoGVQ8NL1NBp0zJkUYX-qOMQl_9h3RzYMQt1flWptxrK_igKOY616QtlcuG5PjBIxuYHr36aWP3_M=s0-d-e1-ft" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEjutBXjD5E3Zclm4AiE10AiWCyzFncjhmhczTo22ZOSYAq33MyxGYVhAX6Rq8d15DBFkVlvSAfQY6U6ut_GYbhoTQHVOkYD3SwuAk_mkRC8V3kn9SZN7-WdZgfe945zc2uj9D-B51-wUUsdha4xyjQQqwGDrZKGZKrk9YRjMMbyoCUSQCijtyeXk_fwEZ12jdBOuqbS7whCm3haC7MoGVQ8NL1NBp0zJkUYX-qOMQl_9h3RzYMQt1flWptxrK_igKOY616QtlcuG5PjBIxuYHr36aWP3_M=s0-d-e1-ft" width="268" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to the science of Genetics -- pushing evolution to places it has never gone before. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And to Science Fiction -- pushing our imagination there as well.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">(title : Sheep DNA)</span></div>
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Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0Singapore1.352083 103.8198361.098096 103.503979 1.6060699999999999 104.13569299999999tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-76273716244411747232011-02-10T16:09:00.002+08:002015-06-15T10:52:34.513+08:00No Food For Thought^^^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">The natives were restless.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">They weren't after some innocent white settlers like in the movies. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">They were restless because in spite of their non-stop prayers to god, there was still no sign of rain. The drought was taking a severe toll on the crops and their livelihood.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">A small group of intellectual young natives finally realized that all this "god" stuff was just a delusion. The priest says if it rains, then "god" made it rain and answered our prayers. If it doesn't, then "god" is not pleased and we should donate To his temple. Clearly a flawed logic.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">They needed money to buy food for their families and they now knew exactly who had been squeezing them all these years with a promise of heaven. They sneaked into the temple that night and poked out the solid gold eye of the god idol. As expected, while trying to leave, they were caught by the guards with their state-of-the-art security systems.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">The culprits were publicly caned on their asses for their crime and for the disrespect of the religion. In short ...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b>Their butt for disgrace of gored gold eye.</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><i>(There, but for the grace of god, go I)</i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">-----------------------</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">2 dedications ...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">1. Richard Dawkins and his insightful book "The God Delusion"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">2. During my treks through the third world, I saw a lot of poverty, sickness, hard labor and suffering. Why are they being punished? Why are they born in an environment where they have no chance? Why are their babies dying of starvation? Seeing the total unfairness of it all, one can't help but conclude that there is no supernatural meaning to life. </span></span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRoviPrn57-jIEHRXG_K0ULo0YNaU1CBll8d0qq6pYke0_DImXC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRoviPrn57-jIEHRXG_K0ULo0YNaU1CBll8d0qq6pYke0_DImXC" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Thank you. I will eat today"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<img height="320" src="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRKNGv2P81EG_JudVHx7tTk39Cp11L0RmkLB9KGvxmRwm4n3kG8" width="253" /><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-22145818619783832952011-02-10T16:04:00.002+08:002015-06-15T10:56:47.295+08:00You're Fired^^^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">A golf fanatic died and faced god.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"You committed a lot of sins, including NOT believing in me" roared the lord "what do have to say in your defense?"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"But lord" the golfer pleaded "you made me imperfect and you knew I would commit these sins. How can you now punish me for your mistakes?"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"ENOUGH" said god "you're fired. Go and burn in hell for eternity you unbeliever."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Oh mercy, oh lord, mercy for being an atheist. If only you could have shown me a clear sign."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"You telling me what to do? You think god was created in your image or I created you in my image? Why should I show you any mercy when I ordered the massacre of every man, woman and baby in Jericho. Except of course for the prostitute and her family as a reward for betraying her city?"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"But lord, when my diabetic father's leg was amputated, I prayed and prayed to you like the millions of amputees on Earth but not a single new leg appeared to anyone. So I lost faith. Mercy. Mercy"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Don't say I am not merciful. For every 1,000 years in burning brimstone, you can play one day of golf in hell. Here are some photos of the golf course."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"But lord, unlike on Earth, the greens seem to have overgrown weeds almost knee high. How do I putt?"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Well, this is not Earth is it? You should know that <b>The Green is Grassier on the Other Side.</b>"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">------------------------</span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to <i>Friedrich <i>Nietzsche</i>, Bertrand Russell, David Hume, Ayn Rand</i> and other philosophers for providing a flickering candlelight in a dark world of irrationality, herd mentality and blind faith.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">With dogma and religion off my back, I find no evidence for a supernatural meaning of life. I don't recall being conscious before I was born and I seriously doubt I will be conscious after I am dead. No greener grass is available and I am a little too old for an imaginary friend.</span></div>
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Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-4893335751280674922010-09-15T01:49:00.000+08:002013-12-19T20:10:33.689+08:00Movin On^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Constipation is no fun! So many remedies but good old fashion Caster Oil usually does the job by thinning and lubricating the hardened stool mass. Well, as the saying goes ...<br /><br /><b>Oil Thins Mass Pass</b><br />(All Things Must Pass)</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img height="291" src="http://ipaintingsforsale.com/UploadPic/Salvador%20Dali/big/clock%20melting%20clocks.jpg" width="400" /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dedicated to Time. Helping us forget the pain of the past and anticipate the wonders of the future-- If only you will let it.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">
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Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-15955655883126193982010-07-06T10:23:00.008+08:002013-12-19T17:48:28.774+08:00Reining in the Cry^^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Don't ever to go a Baby Show. I was at my club and I decided to watch for a while. Things were fine until the first mother placed her baby on the weighing scale as required by the rules. There was an earth shattering scream followed by wailing and bawling. The organizers were helpless. Worse than that, it was contagious! One by one, as if on cue, all the other babies joined in.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I guess that's the Weigh the Bawl Bounces.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">--------------------------------------------------------</span><br />
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<a 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" 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Siz2W0SDvyPb0IUkWGVg/wD0Do6v0JVUlXTr9yPyjNlgjaT+YxtDnhedejq/NNJL3xf4TQ7dicaDwoCT6BKooX177o3D+QE+bgvLXaw3SnhktGHHV6pEuPLvZnb75nYKYI3dHOH0zT/Yq29qyQ4S0hwaQeIFcjvFCFRZbZjK6hcbaWeLKncHnTNbvGh/Ev6CPJ4xhVE5CELomAEIQgAQhCABCEIAFhK2rSOII81mhAFRjflQ6pFtBLFQt7QNlIo3ec91BmRorZfN1OqZIhWvvM48xz5Lnu107uzNHRAtzIdUPyGnun6LmzjKEjp4+GVbLNbLW18bWMeBSgIORoMgKKDHYwxwkLqgZ5ZVPXgqlsVbC7tSS8yVb3g3H3KaDOuWdfBWdzHSNpiprVzxQ+QqQmepl6QqXj+P+p/5/wBEgtjneS9jMVD3m5E0oM9xotljsMUZxandXQeChWW5XtIcJmkCugJrXXOqi3hBO3NlHjlr/pKJrMl7iuN+O37Rned7BoyVSt1trVzjkEv/AOrNc4irqtNHVB7p4Ea1UplhLwSXNcN1EuOGTex0/JhBe3bPdu4hFHYGtcHB0ckuIaEyuZp0DGhQbuidI5jQ6mNzW9MRAr6p77VbqMFnu87mRujcf4iGPA9H+SQ7NSd5jtzXsPk4FXyxp0Vwybi38nWLgszTD2b6OwF2E7w3EcI6gZV5JsyMsGpcOeo8d6X3WyheWEEY3gHXRxH0U53acitC6MzMWW5u/JKL5t2J1G1oN6nyAAd4USy1tZnQn75qsm6LRWyvWnVZ7NOabVEXGje0AH8w93/dhXskRcCRSn6jk0f1HXwqoH/WIbO+I0eY45GOc4MNXkEEkV3a5JK7Gs7KuP3ls42S0Wlz21JmkOfAuNPSi6xYLYyaNskbg5jxVpG8fQ8lX9o7GY3mcDuOp2n8JGQd0IoD05p/kRco2hXjSUZ0zk0eyrm2uMMeYg4uGICueBxaKcyAPFW+xWQkNIxEfqxcfmOim2zC4AtLQ8EFpdUgEEEHJLrNanxvLZpWvkeaMZG2mEAVJzJ3eAAWFwvs3fcZCLDliPmtcsrWBLbxvUMBO/cqvJerJD+baAwcBQ/VFRW6I67LJbL9A0KVm1OlNM+gUi7YbG4CkoeedfkHUTaOWBvda5g5AAelUt5V8IjkeXRd1CHPHQa+JXRrlfWIVOhI6clRGWgDRys+yslS411GnQ/fmmeJlfq19TPnVxssaEIXWMQIQhAAhCxkBoaa0NEAanWpoO8rZHKDoUnlfQA6Z+iyEqXyL8TfeF7tjOEDE7fuA6lKJ9o3n3SxtNRQn6hTDAxxJIz+aX31ZYhhbhFSadcnH/1ScjybaejRjWJ0mtm2O+XvFa06KrbQ3VLPK4tewskAxVFSDoTUnSmgFE2stmawEA+Zqia0tbvUT8lONcf7lcfiSU2+T/AoufZllnFS4vcNCaADkGj61Uy02oDRQ7dfApqkVotznaLHKbk7OhjxqCoZS3vgdXjrzH7qRLazXI9D9+CrUkeL3ivZLykktEcUTQMTu9vowZu6ZArX42TXFnP87D7lOK+tjq0WWJ7Xnsm45C3E8DvGmmaX3xd7YxVj3AgajTLcdxUwyAKu7YXiWNDGnN2Q5Vyqtsujlwdy0OYLdNed1WmCUtM1mkifFIcsTSSCCf5RKK8xXRTrk2dbFEGvkBdQEkDLvVoanUZHPkmFwXRHDCGs+IAvJ+I8x4nLmVharlkqCyQACIxOaRk5ophOWhFD/qK52SfI7uHGoLbG2x1nMLZGB2Mdo4luWROeVTzz5qwPnP8Alv8AQ/IrmViu61Wd2PtWtIdmXVwvyA1pRp6g6lWqz3jayTiMNK5HC8HoRiNHDyKZDJrYrLjXLQ6thLxQtIHMtHzUCQNGQa08ycWfTRQ57baiMmMOepa6lOIq7Pd5rOwRvB/OABNTRu8Z6DQeaiUr6IjFLszdZi85uoN7uA4DmoNv7INLGt3ipc5xr1oaein3jaWYO4dDmN4PMfeqrdsfizVKos5t/sPdk7wbZGWhuGjAWuiAdUOLhSjW6tNRn503lVfN7Om70rstwrQDkB9lQYjiBa4kA6HeDuIqq5fEcjC5km4YhXQt1xNPDTfUE57idmGSaoyZU07Pb1tTo+9G8ggd01xDOoz/AH3ZKuxbRus7HucHutDyWl+oaz9IPAnM9BwWp0jxUYuOR+SVvtDXd12VfunVXlijIiGecemMNoNoMVlhiY7vObikO/vEuIPiQOgKq0khOpqp892AHI66LTFZqOFeBJP6WjU9VEcfHQTyubtkq6bmfKQScI56nwC6Zs/7PonxCSa0TNafdALSTTfm04RVVq4LK5rW1bV7yO7+lvwt8B61XUL1b2bGxtJoxob5ACvmozPhEjEuTKveOyM8AL7FanSgaxPoCabgfdryo3qnvsr2rdNauwlaGu7N9NQcTS0lpa41rTEf6UptV5ujqd4+/FVn8VJFbrLNCB2rnxf1Oc7CAeoNCeCTj4zlbWxuROK0z6VQhC0iQQhCABCEIAW3ndpecTXUcN24/wB0plbI3J7SPvjorQVqfM3r6pcoLsvGbQggly8kr2olr2bgdHj/AIvH1Vmns7HaNoeIy9NFWr5sM5aW4WPB03HLk40BSMifGh+JrlYrsodI8Mbm4+g4ngFu2j2fe2LFG8l4FSMqHpwUTZW2PhtL2TQyMD64XlhoOAJ3DKldNFbLbKXNNPRKhijx32Onmly0chdacIJfUU1xClN2dedEqvDahjAezaXnjuHPmrre0bcb6xdoC3CW8SdQcuAHmqPb9nSc44ezpo3GXA/6m1B8U3F40GrZnzeZkUuMURIb+Lsy7P73J5shbGukmfi74joB/C498/7Wjx5qljZq1l1GwuHMkAeasOy+y1qikM0gAo1zQxrgS4vGHvEZBorXWtQMk2GJRlaFZsznCmWK228YSQcxqqftLePaYCNW1+/mmk+ztoJrjpxoCfCpIWqy7Ikk43GvOgHgnN2qMmPG07L5s3fIkiZ3qnCKqzwTVXM7nuGWI1jrTgdFbrPJMBmz1XOnilF62dqOWMlvRYy4Ju2zMYMmitMzxoqWJpTlgOfRP7NejjTtGEEbxmD4ahXxJ/KF5mtUyHadpGxyFr4yP0uGeR5H6LXbL5he3vZjrT+7TzUS/Xxk1eRQ5VNBnXLPcVXbdY6e64OHCuap6jTorxTRjtLb+yeACSMJqa1OQDhU78iRzyWi473ZOyrTyIOoPAqBel0vlb3qgUyHHgPX1VHiitVhmx4HYa5mhwvaOegPyT1jtWLeRJ0dos7Bkou0Vla6MPw1Meu/8v4wAcq0z8Fp2evmO0Q42Oz+JpyLTwI+uhUu0TAAkkBorUnIAcSlqTiy7Vo5RaziZ2lcI7wzByLSWmh+LPQ/sq1LKchw+au82z0kxq8vjiBJiaB8LiXYnV0Jrot3/ZcVNR9f3W1PRkopkdpLmgV0p6b04u2xGSQhtCMJxOd8LQQXHPliU2fYwV/Lc8eFR6kFTbJsu9jJC17iXRuYagAd4U+dN6tZFErYy3C13pBFFUxMc6WRxyxdmC5uW5mMMyOtV0i/W1JIC5v7F4RHa7Vi7rxCGiuoxPbiHoFfr5tYAKzZ3Y/EqKhb4i6TDzWXs0ibbr1DxQMs5L6V95sfdiLeeItJ5BRL0vERNc93QepPoCuf7M3vJY7THaI3Fro3A5fE342HiHNqKc0YFWwyv4PstCwglD2tc01a4Ag8QRUFZrQJBCEIAF440C9QQgCHKKnXwXnZqT2SyDAq0Wsjtao1si7wPX6KTLZa6HzWh9jd18VV31RaNd2RH2UO1Ue0XeHa5+SZsspApRQ57XhJyyHMfJQ4NErIm+hfHYGsFGtAHQLySztOrR5JlHO1+mq8fCqdDFTFX4RvAeSys0TQS0tGeYy37/vkpn4epyWRjTYJ9iMjXREfY2H4QoFpsDMbe7lknJIG8a0Oa0WqhyGauxUeyVHYGAaLMwRjWnotArHBWQGrnUaN+GmZzWbXMdU8aeXBJao1RaZ6Oz3U9Psre10Z3DzC8u6zsIxBtddVOwch9+CskVbFZssG9oz4ivzUe1XBZpCHdiwkb8x5huvQpxI0bwPvwWoNpp6KGiEKrVdDSaluqwbYWAaBOHOB181Gli5jzCAqiI2ysOWEdKKJbLJEcgxuW8Aa9abk4hspexxbuNKceP0UOWzbtCrKK7ZVsSSWNtNMlo/AN4JtLEBpn6qO6NxbUDL5K+iqTZE/AsG5ZxwNBOXUcRvWy0QFtDuI1WoFANUbbLcUHbB4bhc5paXtyNDQ+IqG5HgsLx2UDyfziB/J9cX0UmzzgZVonQnY8VL2g76kKk4J7LQk0UmTYSyEDtWulOebnuAz1o1hA3DWpyU64djruilDDY4Xh2QMjBJnqPfr0VgnmjGVcR4N/dZ3LYy+XE9tA3MDnoERVaCTssjGgAACgGQA3Abl6hCuVBCEIAEIQgAQhCABeEr1YyCoPRAEGaUu5D59UstsROQr5CnnqmDnU/8AqjyNc7XLgk7bH2ooj2OzFoII3655+q3uaQMv3+amPiDgM6FQ3sew1oSrcfuLeRdUeRveeGnBYyRuO+nTJedo8nIAdP3W2IuGpy5oakEZR+guNmw7kdoR/ZNnNBChz2emarbRfjFrRrv+UucwHLuA04F1a/JarvHfYP4m/MLC2SYi3i1tCeIqSPnRexNNQRrlTruUtkRHtj93gtzgeKj2Nrg0CmHqalSA3jmrlTU4jqo0hHBMBRR7TFU1UNEpi9zysYoQ9zQS6hOYqfui9kbRbbtae0FOdeiqiWOo4w0AAUA0CXWuQPJGVB6n9kzVVtMj2vc0DRx+atPorCrJr8NcgK8+Wqxig1NADy0I5hL4seKpJGR0pvyU0TAUz9ErkNPJrLUUUN1jA1ZXoU0jdXf6LJzeJHmjkiKTFrI4t7fPNbmwxnQBbzCDwWl9npojsOJuZABoAEysDKVySmGQjVPrOO6PvVWgtlJdGxCEJwsEIQgAQhCABCEIAEFCEAR+zzrTNYOiqhCAARGizZzQhAGudlASAogsztTqvUIIJNlb3aFElka7UeRI+SEIolC6S7G1o0HP4ia0A5KVBd7WkUrUbyhCrRZMmYV7hQhAGLoysJwS3mvEIAiWuMk5DcOCzu2Mh+Y3FCFFbJbGqT22xfmEgZHPx3/fNCFMlaKpmH4Ujd8lsDP4fUIQk8EM5HhhH+X6hZNjH6D5j90IUcQ5B2PUeDVm6zuG6vkEIUqKQcmaJLO7c31H7pjYC7DR1MtKcEITIrZWTtElCEJhQEIQgD//2Q==" width="320" /></a>Dedicated to our Children. Sure it is tough the first couple of years and later in their teens when their brain had not caught up with their body. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. (The title is, of course, Crying in the Rain)<br />
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Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-86104296146441077302010-06-28T13:41:00.004+08:002015-06-15T10:58:59.891+08:00Pure Weaval^^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">Salome's wedding was just a few days away and she wanted something daring to wear. This is not easy when you live in conservative Abu Dhabi. She called the premier bridal shop and they said they would send over a sales lady with some items. In this country like elsewhere, they have what you call "walk shops" where they provide this exclusive home service for the rich and famous. (This ain't some Fuller Brush nickels and dimes stuff)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Soon the saleslady was showing her the items and there it was --- perfect! A daring hand-weaved mauve veil with enticing slits and hemmed with precious stones.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Well in hindsight, it was obvious. Everyone knows that </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Bridal Aims are the Dare Veil's Walk Shop"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">(<i>Idle Brains are the Devil's Workshop -- </i></span><span style="font-size: large;">a variation of the less accurate "hands" version)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">---------------</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to Shaan and Jeremy 2-year stint in Abu Dhabi. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And also to the best friend you will ever have -- yourself. There are wonderful and interesting people and things all around us we should never let ourselves get lonely and become neurotic. </span></div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-6454906715883643262010-03-20T11:10:00.011+08:002015-06-15T11:01:59.908+08:00Twas Brillig to the Glue King Lass^^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">At 4pm, White Pawn Alice made it to the 8th rank. She </span><span style="font-size: large;">was crowned as a White Queen,</span><span style="font-size: large;"> captured the Red Queen and checkmated the Red King. This was surely a case of when the </span><br />
<b style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></b>
<b style="font-size: x-large;">Reign is Canceled because of the Game.</b><br />
<b style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></b>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">(game is cancelled because of the rain)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">--------------</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to Nonce, Portmanteau, Spooners and other types of nonsense words that so enrich our lives.</span><br />
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQyMYXl3ZVcWohWo3gcpYiuR4KYFh2ouZzO-5bpEJh4YCnbu7toSw" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQyMYXl3ZVcWohWo3gcpYiuR4KYFh2ouZzO-5bpEJh4YCnbu7toSw" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">(Title meaning : Twas Brillig (4pm) are the opening words from the Jabberwocky poem in "Through the Looking Glass" which the title spoonerizes the G "to the Glue King Lass" (King that cannot move is glued ie Checkmated and the Lass is, of course. Alice)</span></div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-53921209356851636572010-02-14T19:49:00.009+08:002015-06-15T10:44:02.970+08:00Brain Drained^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<style>
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<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: large;">The professor suddenly turned to his assistant "Suppose we have a volunteer who agreed to have his undamaged brain removed."</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: large;">"What!" exclaimed his assistant</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">"</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">Hypothetically speaking of course. We have the knowledge and the technology to circulate oxygenated blood to keep the grey matter, white matter and other brain components alive, healthy, alert and, most importantly, be fully aware."</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: large;">"What are you getting at?"</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">"Wouldn't the brain then still be conscious? Without sensory input from the nerves. wouldn't the person's grey matter conclude that it is actually existing detached from the body? </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">It can still think therefore it will conclude that it exists ... to actually be!"</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">The assistant was shocked "</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">Oh Dear! </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">What? Can the Matter Be?"</span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: large;">-----------------------------------------------</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: large;">Dedicated to our amazing Brain. This feghoot may look like fantasy but I have no doubt that when a person is guillotined, his conscious head falls into the basket and fully aware of what has happened for a few minutes until oxygen deprivation takes effect.</span></span></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
</div>
</div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-25012709756356255022010-02-02T00:31:00.007+08:002015-06-15T11:05:26.599+08:00Getting Mooned^^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">"You can't go wrong investing in Silver" said the financial analyst.<br /><br />"But I've got burnt with your advice before" moaned Sam<br /><br />"Not this time Sam. There will be a chronic shortage of silver because the heavy rains in Peru have affected the mine's output. Prices will shoot through the roof!"<br /><br />"Are you really sure? Silver prices are at an all time high."<br /><br />"Of course they are. The shortage is driving the prices up. Now stop moaning. You will be laughing all the way to the bank in a few weeks"<br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Of course Sam invested his money and, as before, silver prices crashed. He had fallen for the lie again.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Buy the Lie of the Silver -- Re-moan<br />(By the Light of the Silvery Moon)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">----------------------------------------------</span><br />
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/></a><span style="font-size: large;">Contrary to what the poets and laymen say, when you understand something, for example the moon, it does not take anything away from the beauty or the mystery of it. </span><span style="font-size: large;">The beauty remains and the mystery is raised to a higher level. This feghoot is dedicated to the "The Theory of Everything" -- the ultimate quest to explain the universe and beyond ... 42</span><br />
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Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-48204576479213129412010-01-24T21:54:00.009+08:002013-12-19T18:07:00.579+08:00The Buck of the Draw^^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">After the loss of his wife, renown artist Pickassol just couldn't paint with the same fiery passion anymore. His work went downhill.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">He decided to head down to his country manor to do some hunting and fishing but there was no improvement in his paintings. In desperation, he drained some blood from a deer he had shot and grounded it with the flesh of a fish. Using that as paint, he finally managed to produce a great work of art! In hindsight, it was obvious why this worked.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">To be successful, you need to put your hart and sole into it.</span></b></div>
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<a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9fSOx9KjM68AbOPDqZ9YBq9L7k9xdOMDEAsIBnwWWTq86J8vx" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9fSOx9KjM68AbOPDqZ9YBq9L7k9xdOMDEAsIBnwWWTq86J8vx" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Dedicated to Vincent Van Gogh who showed us the meaning of passion</span><br />
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Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-76476490825672692972009-12-15T22:24:00.000+08:002015-06-15T11:11:19.703+08:00Sadder of Luck heirs^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The double murder happened in the family home during Ma's birthday party on a beautiful June day. The suspects were their 3 teenage children - Tom 17, Cindy 18, and Frank 19. Ma and Pa were found dead in their upstairs room with bullet wounds. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
They had just announced that they had some new information that Tom was a voyeur. They were going to change their will. Now that is a perfect motive, if there ever was one. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"Yes" said Cindy to the Inspector "it has to be Tom or perhaps Frank, who is on drugs. As for me, I was busy in the bathroom as I had a bout of vomiting after food and was showering" </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"I may be a peeping Tom, so to speak, but I am not a murderer. I was ... uh ... Ok ok watching Cindy bathing from the keyhole." Tom stuttered. "I can tell you exactly what she was doing when the shots were heard in Pa's room. Of course I was the first to enter their room but the murderer was gone."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"Yes inspector" added Frank "Tom is a good person in general. Very kind, smart and kinda good-looking too. Now Cindy is different. She is badly in debt and will do anything to get the loansharks off her back. As for my whereabouts, I was outside in the garden. Not even in the house! Cindy saw me come inside when she was on the top of the stairs. Tom was already in Pa's room, I think."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"Was there anyone else in the house at that time?" Asked the inspector.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"Not really" replied Cindy "the gardener had already left several hours earlier after pruning the tall branches of the oak trees outside. He locked the padlock on the gate on his way out. That is why when we called you, we had to unlock it to let you in" </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"So it has to be one of you three" mused the inspector, rubbing his chin. "Frank, i am arresting you for the murder" </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"But I was outside!" frank protested. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR9jjZR_pLLssuXucpU0HCegefAWjvFrBOPjoJ4IFdcxJvBfj_H" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR9jjZR_pLLssuXucpU0HCegefAWjvFrBOPjoJ4IFdcxJvBfj_H" width="106" /></a>"Exactly. Using the same ladder the gardener was using to shoot them from the open bedroom window."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The fingerprints on the ladder confirmed his guilt and Frank confessed.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Tom breathed a sigh of relief. "that was a brilliant piece of deduction, inspector"</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"I knew it right away once he started to praise you in his statement. It has to be. You see, </div>
</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div>
<div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>He Who Praise the Peeper, Culls the Two"</b><br /><i>(he who pays the piper, calls the tune)</i><br />--------- </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">One piece of hard evidence is better than 100 eye witnesses. 1 eye witness is better than 100 hearsay accounts. <br />Unfortunately, people will believe what they want to. Selecting snippets that support their view while ignoring the bulk of contrary evidence. Basing your beliefs on majority opinion, statements uttered by authority or what's written in books is not rational. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />Title : Sadder of Luck heirs <br /> Ladder of Success</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white;">
<div>
<span style="line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-58346909755028996792009-10-11T23:09:00.008+08:002015-06-15T11:16:01.708+08:00Cash a blank card^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Rubber Bridge.<br />High stakes.<br />No Luck.<br />Opponents just made slam.<br />Pay up.<br />Made another game.<br />Got to Pay.<br />Oh no!<br />They just bid grandslam.<br />And made it! <br />Pay it again. Slam.</span><br />
<div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">--------------</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to my love-hate relationship with duplicate bridge. Love it for the challenge, strategy and thrill. Hate it for the stress and the time it sucks away from my other interests. I swear I don't want to play it any more .... but I don't want to play it any less either (groan). </span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />BTW, Bogie never said "play it again, Sam" in Casablanca (title of feghoot). but Woody Allen, one of my favorite comedians (my favorite is George Carlin) did make a movie of the that name.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div>
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTlmaGUm2rLE_JQMRP_idrR64N2mcq1ZzEpuyWTmaxfeJNTSjE_" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTlmaGUm2rLE_JQMRP_idrR64N2mcq1ZzEpuyWTmaxfeJNTSjE_" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Allen: What are you doing Saturday night?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />Woman: Committing suicide.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />Allen: What about Friday night?</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-53053136841373977902009-10-05T11:05:00.006+08:002013-12-19T18:46:42.496+08:00Blue Moo^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;"><style>
</style></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Mad cow disease was spreading fast and the dairy farmers in Austria had to act fast. They buried the dead cows and quarantined all the groaning sick ones.</span><br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">The ills are Alive with the Sound of Moo Sick.</span></b></div>
<div>
<i><span style="font-size: large;">(The hills are alive with the sound of music)</span></i></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">----------------------------</span></div>
<div>
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS7GUt9I1k5tMeGWL2F_m7Za9-sb8NLp6vpyklmotzTdjl5RsoEAA" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS7GUt9I1k5tMeGWL2F_m7Za9-sb8NLp6vpyklmotzTdjl5RsoEAA" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to the researchers in their never ending fight against the microbes. Will there come a time when a deadly strain will be totally resistant to all our drugs?</span><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-54015777503387425502009-10-05T10:54:00.004+08:002015-06-15T11:19:59.163+08:00Fool's Gold^^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="visibility: visible;"><span style="visibility: visible;"><span style="color: #444444;">Conquistador Francisco Pizarro with superior weapons ruthlessly massacred the Incas and looted tons of gold.<span style="color: black;"> </span></span></span></span><span style="visibility: visible;"><span style="visibility: visible;">The hoard was so great, he could not take it all back in his ships and hid most of it.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="visibility: visible;"><span style="visibility: visible;">Father Samuel got an ancient map during a confession from an explorer who killed an antique dealer and stole it from him. The map led greedy Father Samuel deep into the Andes. At a remote village, he managed to buy a pony and made his final push to an obscure cave. He managed to</span></span><span style="visibility: visible;"><span style="visibility: visible;"> cleared out some rubble from collapsed passages and there, lo and behold, was Pizarro's treasure! </span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: large; visibility: visible;">He fully loaded his pony and started the trek back. Unknown to him, he was being stalked by bandits. Suddenly they made their move. He tried to escape on the pony but it collapsed as it was too overloaded.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: large; visibility: visible;">Needless to say, he and </span></span><br />
<span style="visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: large; visibility: visible;"><b>a Full Andes Pony are soon Martyred</b>.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>(A fool and his money are soon parted)</em></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">----------------------</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">2 dedications this time.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">To the destroyed civilizations on every continent throughout history. Aside from the devastating massacre and genocide, the victors also forced their religion, values and culture. So much interesting, valuable and important knowledge has been wiped out.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Also dedicated to those of us who have lost their hard earned money by lending, investing, giving money or just getting outright cheated by conmen. Sweet talkers with get-rich schemes or sad stories are far more effective than the mugger in the street. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i><br />
</i></b></span></div>
</div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-38558849857506686982009-10-05T10:36:00.010+08:002015-06-15T11:23:57.790+08:00Cat Call^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;"><style>
</style></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">The tomcat loved the maid. Unlike previous caretakers, this one was a rare find as she was genuinely fond of him. She always fed him on time, brushed his coat and scratched his cheeks.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Yup, he became <b>the Fan Tom of the Au Pair rare</b>. </span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"> (<i>The Phantom of the Opera</i>)</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">---------------</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">3 Dedications </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">To our maids -- they have to leave their husbands, children, family and friends and come to a strange foreign land so they can earn enough to give their loved ones a better life. (yes especially for you Lilik)</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">To the Musical -- Thank you Andrew Lloyd Webber, Tim Rice, Frederick Loewe, Richard Rodgers, Oscar Hammerstein II, Schonberg and so many others for enriching our lives, A special mention to my Hongkong Diocesan Boys' School literature teacher Mr, Jacobsen for advising me to always see beyond the main characters and songs.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">To my childhood Burmese cats : King and Dylan </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
</div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-82215879151855759682009-09-20T00:09:00.004+08:002015-06-15T11:26:13.185+08:00Spirited Away^^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;"><style>
</style></span><br />
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"I dare you to stay in that haunted mansion at midnight" Timmy challenged Sammy "Ten bucks says you can't"</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"I... I'll do it" Sammy stammered</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: large;">At midnight, a trembling Sammy slowly made his way into the courtyard and waited. It was here 20 years ago that an 8 year old child had fallen off her bicycle. She had hit her head on the concrete floor and died. </span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Thirty slow minutes ticked away. Suddenly, an apparition materialized. It was a ghostly image of a child cycling! Sammy took out the camera with his jittery hands and clicked. Oh no! He had forgotten to charge the battery! The flash barely came on. The ghost quickly vanished and Sammy ran out.</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sadly, the photo was severely underexposed and nothing could be seen. It seems that <b>the Spirit is Wheeling but the Flash is Weak.</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">------------------</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to the ultimate power that controls our behavior and actions. Our Spirit may be willing and our Flesh may be weak but our Brains have the final say. </span></div>
</div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-63050955372961453872009-08-28T14:42:00.003+08:002010-07-16T13:15:32.111+08:00Oh Sheet^^<span style="font-size: large;"><style>
</style></span><br />
<div><span style="font-size: large;">The microwave oven is one of the greatest inventions for the kitchen. Nowadays it is integrated with a conventional oven and a fan to distribute the heat evenly.</span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">It came in extra handy last night when my dryer broke down while I was doing my bedsheets. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Yup, dry in just 5 minutes <b>when the Fan Heats the Sheet. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong> </strong><em> (when the shit hits the fan)</em><strong><br />
</strong></span><br />
<br />
<div><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><span style="font-size: large;">---------------------------</span> </div><div><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to the Good Ol' Days. How many of us knew then that we were actually living through it? We worried about pimples, grades, scolding from parents, girlfriends/boyfriends and so many things that seem so trivial now.</span></div><div> </div>Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-8027360576830051002009-08-22T16:54:00.014+08:002010-12-24T01:15:02.851+08:00Bee S(t)ing^^^<div><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">The Abbot made the decision. The vows of silence in the abbey had to be obeyed, No caroling will be allowed during Christmas ... period.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">One monk, who was a beekeeper prior to joining the brotherhood, had an amazing idea. He knew that the "buzz" of each bee was of a different pitch caused by the beat rate of its wings. He wrote to the abbot, "If I could place groups of bees of the same pitch in tiny cages in a row, I may be able to get an octave of frequencies. By carefully agitating these cages in tempo, the bees will fly and their specific buzz will be picked up by microphones and a simple tune will be created."</span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">The abbot gave his approval as animals were outside the scope of the vow of silence.</span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">After weeks of hard work, the bees were ready. Opening night was a "resounding" success as a slow and simple version of "Silent Night" was buzzed out by the little stars!</span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">Everybody agreed that </span><span style="font-size: large;">nothing was<b> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>more fun than a Carol of Monk Bees.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong> </strong><em>(more fun than a barrel of monkeys)</em></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<br />
<strong><br />
</strong></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">--------------------</span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to my past and present regular bee-ridge partners -- Trevor Li, Ron Savage, Vera Emil, C C Chen, Karol Crouse, Yu Chun Yee, Shamim Moledina, Leonardo, Peter Arnette, Sean Ng. No need to go as far as vows of silence. Just a smile and an occasional kind word goes a long way to make the game so much more enjoyable.</span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div></div>Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-67625704973841450892009-03-15T00:01:00.007+08:002010-07-16T13:25:13.920+08:00Doggone It^^<span style="font-size: large;">Dingos, the wild dogs of Australia, usually hunt in packs, and can even corner and kill a kangaroo. However, if a dingo is on its own, chasing a big prey is futile. It must lie flat and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">slowly</span> creep up on a rabbit and pounce. End result? <b>Slump Dog Meal on Hare</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">------------------</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to Frisky my late Maltese terrier - asked for little, gave so much.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">(Yes you can sometimes make a good movie for just $15 million - <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Slumdog</span></span> Millionaire)</span>Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-15194445503042347802009-03-11T22:16:00.000+08:002014-09-29T01:11:34.697+08:00Bird Droppings^^<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-weight: normal;">Homing pigeons and doves were still in use during WW2 to carry secret messages from behind enemy lines. Of course this method was well-known and there were standing orders to shoot down any homing birds on sight. Some almost made it back across the front line falling into no man's land between the opposing front lines. Soldiers sometimes had to venture yonder into the danger zone to retrieve the messages from the gory bird carcasses that lie there.</span></h2>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In other words, </span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Home Gored Doves Lie Yon</span></b></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">(Whom God Loves Die Young)</span></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">--------------------------</span></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">These famous words of consolation make no sense and insults those who live long good lives. </span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For the military to function effectively, no independent thinking is allowed except perhaps at the highest echelon. The rest just follow orders or face a court martial. This feghoot is dedicated to John Lennon who died at 40.</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: small; text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.johnlennon.com/wp-content/themes/jl/images/home-gallery/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.johnlennon.com/wp-content/themes/jl/images/home-gallery/2.jpg" height="199" width="200" /></a></div>
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Imagine there's no countries</span></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It isn't hard to do</span></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Nothing to kill or die for</span></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">And no religion too</span></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Imagine all the people</span></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Living life in peace</span></i><br />
<div style="font-size: small;">
</div>
</div>
</div>
Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-35935932096011098972008-11-15T12:35:00.015+08:002010-07-16T13:36:44.725+08:00Burning Bush^^^^<span style="font-size: large;">"Hey guys" Bush said eagerly "Do I have time to start another war? Huh? Huh?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">All heads turned to the ceiling.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Ok, ok, I get it ... how about some sanctions then ... Huh? Huh? ... our guy in Iraq ... what's his name? ah yes Maliki ... he just got no respect. We made him Prime Minister and the nerve of that guy telling us to set a date for withdrawal .... when the oils runs out, buddy ... when the oil runs out... what an idiot ... yeh ... I want to bar all their exports ... except oil of course ... that will show him who's the boss"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"You should check with Obama before you do anything. Mr. President"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">"What about Burma ... Huh? ... Huh? Everybody hates that country with those suppressive generals in charge. Locking up what's her name ...Sue Me ... uh ... Suu Kyi for so many years and killing those monks ... We can bar the export of their gemstones and whatever other crap they have over there."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">"You should check with Obama before you do anything. Mr. President"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Ok .. ok .. get him on the line ... he owes me a big one ... he knows damn well that the only reason he got elected was because of me ... yeh ... I know what all of you all are thinking ... but you're wrong ... God told me to create all this mess so that Obama will be elected ... it was God's plan all along and I followed it perfectly ... so there!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Obama on the line, sir"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Hi Barry ... I need to check with you on this .... " and Bush explains his sanction plans.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"So Barry ..." he whispers "I'll look like a lame duck if I don't do something ... you owe me Barry ... please Barry ... please .... ok then, at least say your name ... why? ... no reason at all ... just say your name ...PLEASE JUST SAY YOUR NAME WILL YOU! ... thanks Barry ... bye bye"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"What did he say, sir?" a general asked.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">With a smile, Bush replied<b> "Bar Iraq or Burma"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> <em>(Barack Obama)</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-----------------------</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to Pres Obama. A historic win must be followed by a historic change to the massive damage that has been done -- wars, economy, environment for starters.</span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">(thanks Shaan for helping me on the rhyming of Barack to Iraq)</span>Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-61222604201254183622008-09-26T02:52:00.013+08:002010-11-29T13:30:09.593+08:00You Can't Beat This^^<span style="font-size: large;">Convicted vandal, Michael Fay stood before the court. "12 strokes of the cane" uttered the Singapore judge. This is not the kid stuff caning you get from your dad. This official punishment uses a half inch rattan rod, dipped in antiseptic and administered by one tough dude.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The time had come. Michael was strapped and bent over a wooden frame with his bare buttocks exposed. Adjacent parts of his body were padded to prevent accidental injury and a doctor was present. But this is small consolation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">.... but the screams from the agony were much louder. Blood flowed down his legs from his torn skin and raw muscles.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Some of the headlines in the papers the next day ...</span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Hit Dozen; Pain Butt; Hit <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Raws</span>.</span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>(It doesn't rain but it pours)</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em></em></span><span style="font-size: large;">-----------------------------------------------</span> <br />
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<strong><br />
</strong><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to all the mental and physical sufferers of torture -- <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Abu</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Ghraib</span>, Guantanamo Bay, Nazi Concentration Camps, Spanish Inquisition and countless others throughout history. Can a 1st world country like Singapore still keep 3rd world punishment? When will the politicians see the difficulty?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What makes an ordinary Joe, when put in a position of power, becomes pure evil?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Based on scientific studies, the "enemy" is dehumanized and holds wrong and dangerous ideologies and values. Therefore the abuse is rationalized, self-justified and reinforced by the herd mentality of his fellow torturers. Besides, "I was only following orders".</span>Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-37371644505373853772008-09-19T02:20:00.012+08:002010-07-16T14:00:50.509+08:00Alternative Mad is Son^^^^<span style="font-size: large;">"By pricking these needles into your ear lobes, face, limbs and body, the bad Qi (<i>pronounced <strong>Chee</strong></i>) energy will flow out" the acupuncturist explained</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Yes, yes, yes ... I'm feeling better already" said Sonny</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"I can feel your damaged heart getting stronger" he continued with his hands just above Sonny's chest "the negative Qi is coming out through your chest, through my fingers and out forever."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Yes I feel the tingle ... it's wonderful"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He then placed a lit prayer candle on Sonny's chest, sprinkled holy water, spread a little sacred soil and tied a string around his chest. He then blew gently.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Now the incoming Qi has been altered, strengthened and made good by the 4 elements -- fire, water, earth and wind -- and I have tied the string to keep the 4 altered Qi in your chest and heart. Keep the string tied tightly and come back next week. Do you feel the power?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Yes I do ... and the warmth ... and the energy ... I feel great"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Sonny happily paid the $500 as he walked out of the crowded clinic. It was a fantastic deal! A risky bypass operation would have cost him over ten grand, lots of pain and laid up for weeks. Now there was a spring to his walk because of the altered good four Qi energy flowing through his heart.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He entered his condo lobby and, casting a smile at the elevator, he headed for the stairs to scamper up the few flights to his apartment. He never made it. A massive fatal heart attack stopped him just short.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Not Four Alter Qi in Tie? Nah</b>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>(Not for all the tea in China)</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-----------------</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to P. T. Barnum. He must be laughing from his grave knowing that in spite of advances in science, a good understanding of the Placebo effect and widespread education, suckers are still being born -- not every minute -- but every second. "Alternative" medicine <em>(title of feghoot)</em> is a misnomer -- it is either "evidence based" or "non-evidence based". Put my health in the hands of quacks? Not for all the tea in China.</span>Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11087124.post-72149049502723233952008-08-31T15:58:00.012+08:002010-12-24T01:31:20.493+08:00Stern -- Boned Turds^^^^<span style="font-size: large;">Far out at sea, everything was calm. The sun was setting and the sea birds were gracefully circling and diving for fish. A lone speedboat was heading towards an obscure beach. But something fishy was going on and it was definitely not the fish. On board were a gang of drug smugglers with their illicit hoard of cocaine and crack.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Suddenly 3 speedboats from the Coast Guard were spotted racing towards them. Panic ensued but the professional smugglers managed to throw the drugs overboard just in time. Without evidence, no arrests could be made, but the smugglers also lost millions by dumping their cargo.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The only "winners" seem to be the sea birds. They were now flying erratically and seem to prefer drinking sea water to catching fish!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">No doubt about it. </span><b><span style="font-size: large;">No Tern was Left Un-stoned.</span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong> </strong><em>(No Stone was Left Unturned)</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em></em></span><span style="font-size: large;">----------------------</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dedicated to the wonders of world pay ... uh ... word play. For without Spoonerisms and Puns there could not be a Feghoot. Thank you Denis Norden and Frank Muir from the BBC Radio Show "My Word" for opening my ears to a whole new dimension of humor. If anyone knows how to contact these people or their family (FM is dead), let me know. I want to send them a note.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was dormant for 40 years but am now catching up on tossed lime.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I have heard the punch line before although I am not sure where, but I am certain the story is original and so is the Spoonerist title.</span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">(Title : Tern -- Stoned Birds)</span></i>Zain Moledinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10646040202951298642noreply@blogger.com0