You're Fired^^^^

A golf fanatic died and faced god.

"You committed a lot of sins, including NOT believing in me" roared the lord "what do have to say in your defense?"

"But lord" the golfer pleaded "you made me imperfect and you knew I would commit these sins. How can you now punish me for your mistakes?"

"ENOUGH" said god "you're fired. Go and burn in hell for eternity you unbeliever."

"Oh mercy, oh lord, mercy for being an atheist. If only you could have shown me a clear sign."
  

"You telling me what to do? You think god was created in your image or I created you in my image? Why should I show you any mercy when I ordered the massacre of every man, woman and baby in Jericho. Except of course for the prostitute and her family as a reward for betraying her city?"

"But lord, when my diabetic father's leg was amputated, I prayed and prayed to you like the millions of amputees on Earth but not a single new leg appeared to anyone. So I lost faith. Mercy. Mercy"

"Don't say I am not merciful. For every 1,000 years in burning brimstone, you can play one day of golf in hell. Here are some photos of the golf course."

"But lord, unlike on Earth, the greens seem to have overgrown weeds almost knee high. How do I putt?"

"Well, this is not Earth is it? You should know that The Green is Grassier on the Other Side."

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Dedicated to Friedrich Nietzsche, Bertrand Russell, David Hume, Ayn Rand and other philosophers for providing a flickering candlelight in a dark world of irrationality, herd mentality and blind faith.


With dogma and religion off my back, I find no evidence for a supernatural meaning of life. I don't recall being conscious before I was born and I seriously doubt I will be  conscious after I am dead. No greener grass is available and I am a little too old for an imaginary friend.